


The Rookie - If I could See You One More Time

by DandelionDreaming



Series: The Rookie Series [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Dean Winchester In Love, Demon Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Dean Winchester, Non-Consensual Touching, Oral Sex, Porn, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Protective Dean Winchester, Rape/Non-con Elements, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:54:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24217720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DandelionDreaming/pseuds/DandelionDreaming
Summary: Having previously had a happy relationship with Dean, it has now been nearly two years since you saw each other last.When Dean was killed by Metatron and became a demon and a Knight of Hell, you spent all your time and energy looking for him, only to find him - and then disappear in the days following, leaving only a note.  Today you're going to see Dean again for the first time, to tell him the full story of what happened that night.  Why you left and never came back.* * *Well this is it - the final work in the 'Rookie' Series...🙁Its been one heck of a ride and I thank you all so much for reading, your support, comments & kudos. Hope this last work provides some relief before you go bravely back into the many challenges of 2020 and kick it in the ass. 🖤🖤🖤
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s), Dean Winchester/You
Series: The Rookie Series [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1491710
Comments: 91
Kudos: 135





	1. There'd be roses and wine...

Note: If you haven't read the one shot [Silent Lucidity](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24146971) \- set between 'Home' and this work, it is lightly referred to here and you can catchup by clicking the link.

**[ONE MORE TIME](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4R8SbmSf5lTkEaCxzMuzcY) _  
  
Baby, this is from my heart_ ** **_  
  
I don't know why we fell apart  
_ **

**_I guess somehow there's been a trade  
  
In all the promises we made  
  
_ **

**_There'd be roses and wine…  
  
If I could see you one more time_ **

**DIESEL**

You met Sam out front of the hotel. Taking a shaky breath as he pulled up in the impala, the familiar rumble comforting, helping you gather your courage as you gave him a nervous smile. He jumped out the car and enveloped you in a hug. Neither of you speaking for a full minute.

‘You look good Sam. Real good.’ You said, realizing you'd forgotten what a mountain of a man he was, wondering how it would feel to hug Dean again… if he would let you – or even want to after all this time and the things that had happened between you.

‘I'm so glad you messaged. You look stunning.’ He said, pulling back and looking at you up and down with a soft smile. ‘But then you always do.’ 

‘I don’t know. I’m pretty tired, I don't uh, sleep much - am sure it shows.’ You shrugged, letting the silence draw out a bit. 

‘How? Um.’ You sighed, not even able to ask.

‘He’s good. He’s fine. Not a demon, the Mark and the Darkness are gone - now is a good time.’ Said Sam, leading you to the car and closing the door. A gentlemanly gesture, but you also wondered if he knew how scared you were, how if he didn’t use those big hands and arms to guide you, that you might try and turn and run.

‘Well thanks again to you two for saving the world.’ You smiled as he got in. 

‘Kinda on us that the Darkness got loose in the first place – but you’re welcome.’ He shrugged and grinned, making no move to start the car. The two of you needing a moment to talk. 

‘Where does he think... I mean what?’ You fumbled, trying to ask where he thought you had been all this time.

‘He – uh. Well... Your stuff is all still there, exactly as you left it. He even maintains the garden, especially the lemon and lime trees, he sits out there on that bench a lot, running his fingers over your initials... but he never lets anyone talk about you. After Charlie first told us that she'd seen you a couple of months after you left, that you were alive and okay, he would never let her say anything more than that. Told her to say nothing to anyone else - not even Cass.’ 

He turned to look at you, his eyes guilty. 

‘I wanted to know more, but he ordered me not to. To not go looking for you – so that you were safe. So that no one could ever find out from us where you were, even if they possessed us or read our minds. Especially once Amara came along.’ He looked sad and apologetic. 'He wouldn't even let Chuck say your name, the sound he made and the look on his face when he tried...' Sam shook his head. 'It made both Chuck and Lucifer shut up - and that never happens. But I'm still sorry I never looked. I thought about you every day, wondered how you were...'

‘It’s okay Sam, I didn’t want you to look – and you wouldn’t have found me anyway.’ You smiled gently. 'I would have come back sooner but I gathered it was a bad idea with Amara around. Geez, as if fighting off the King of Hell wasn't bad enough, but God's sister?! Your brother is a fave boytoy with all the big hitters isn't he?' 

Your voice getting thinner as you got to the question that had been haunting you, occupying your brain at 3am most nights.

'Ummm, with her...so was he..? Did he?' You found you couldn't say the words out loud. The thought of Dean being in love with someone else too much.

'No. No he wasn't in love with her.' Said Sam, reading your mind. 'It was like a kind of weird trance or connection to do with the Mark. It was something, and it was beyond his choice. But not love. And never like he loves you.'

You nodded quietly. Relief washing through you. 

‘Hey, uh.' Sam cleared his throat. 'I’m sorry for everything that happened before you left – I got so obsessed with finding Dean when he was a demon...’ He took a deep breath, shaking his head. ‘And uh - the things Dean said before he died... ' 

He put a hand behind his neck, rubbing awkwardly, referring to Dean's plea to look after you, because he had known Sam had feelings for you, trusted him to love you as he did, wanted you to have someone once he was gone. 

Sam looked down guiltily, his hazel eyes troubled. 

'I - I didn’t want it to seem like I would ever take advantage of the situation... But I feel like I might have gone too far the other way, like I abandoned you. When you left that note and disappeared l didn’t know what to do, I realized we'd hardly spoken for days and I had no idea what was going on with you. I was so worried that you’d been badly hurt by him when you went to see him that night... I should have been looking out for you.’ His voice trailed off.

‘Hey, we were both obsessed. Doing whatever we could to find him, get him back. We both made some bad choices, I shouldn't have gone there that night alone, but it’s okay. Really Sam. It’s been a long time now and it’s all water under the bridge. I'm fine. You don't have to feel bad.’ You reached over and gave his shoulder a squeeze. Watching as he seemed to exhale all the tension he was carrying.

‘It's so good to see you, actually see that you are alive and okay.' He breathed, his eyes filling with tears. 'Fuck, I’ve missed you a lot – we all have.’

You pulled him into a hug.

‘Hey, me too.’ You soothed. ‘Shit. Me too Sam.’ 

* * * *

All too soon you were at the bunker, Sam leading as you wound your way down the stairs, the smell, the sounds and familiar sight of the war room table overwhelming. Home.

‘Hey Sam, where did you go? You know I…’ 

Dean stopped in his tracks, looking across the room as you descended the last of the stairs. His face registering a number of emotions in a split second – shock, happiness, excitement… then fear, anger and an automatic shuttering. You watched him carefully, his breath catching and his hands clenching. His arms defensively crossed as he stared at you.

‘Hi.’ You said, your voice soft.

Dean said nothing, a large gulp and jaw tightening his only response.

  
‘Uh, I’m going to give you two some time.’ Said Sam, giving you a reassuring pat and heading back up the stairs, the door clanging behind him leaving a silence and chasm that seemed far bigger that the physical space between you and Dean.

You looked over at him, his defensive posture, his crossed arms, his face trying to mask the hurt that was written all over it. You knew that face, he was bracing himself, trying not to attack, wary and full of emotion that he was trying not to unleash. The hurt and pain in his eyes was devastating and you nearly lost your nerve.   
You were scared before you got here – but actually seeing him again, the real him and not the rank demon you’d last seen inhabiting his body, was both thrilling and terrifying. But the way he was looking at you was breaking your heart and making your knees shake. Part of you wanted to run back up the stairs and out the door. Only the fact you were finally here, close to him once again keeping you steady.   
After almost two years you owed him a discussion at least. And the truth, all of it. After everything that had happened and this much time he deserved that.

‘Dean I uh … I know you think I ran away, left you. But I…I had to. I was so scared. I didn't know what else to do. I tried to help cure you b-but then… ’ You stammered, looking down.

‘Rookie.’ He interrupted, cutting you short and dropping his arms. ‘I know you. And I know you wouldn’t run away for no reason. Fuck, you did everything you could to save me from the Mark, you were so godamn brave meeting with Cain, so strong and determined to find me when I was a demon. You’d never leave unless…’ He gulped hard. ‘Unless you had to. I - uh… I also know you came to the motel that night to visit me – Crowley told me you were there. And then you, you disappeared without a trace.’   
  
He cleared his throat, his voice soft.  
  
‘So I what I think...’ He took a deep breath. ‘Fuck. What I’ve been thinking - is that whatever happened, whatever… I did to you that night. Wh-when I was a demon must have been real bad if you couldn’t stay. And worse if you wouldn’t come back.’

He blinked back tears, his hands shaking.

‘And I have tried not to think about how bad, and uh, exactly what I must have done - if you couldn’t even send a message for nearly two years.’ He stopped, his voice cracking with pain. 

‘… but no matter what I do I can’t not think about it. It keeps me up at night – most nights, imagining what was so bad that it made you run and never want to look back … so uh honestly? I don’t know what you are thinking, but right now, I’m standing here trying not to cry at the thought of whatever it is I did to you.’   
  
He clenched his fists, tightening his jaw, steeling himself, you could see it took all his strength to meet your eyes.   
  
‘But however much I fucking hurt you, that you’ve either been too godamn traumatized or too afraid to tell me – trying to protect me or some shit. I can take it, I have to.’   
  
You watched as he forced himself to keep his gaze steady, his green eyes pleading with you.   
  
‘Please sweetheart. Please tell me what you need, what the fuck I did to you that night? I know I can’t fix it – that you’ll never come back. But if you need closure, some sort of apology, some sort of penance, revenge – fuck, anything. Whatever you need, I’ll do it.’ His voice breaking into a drawn out husk.

‘Dean… I…’ You went silent, your throat constricting, his outburst catching you off guard, thoughts getting confused in your head, making it difficult to get words out. 

‘Did I hurt you baby? Is that why you stayed away so long? Fuck after everything that’s happened to you, after what those monsters did in your childhood… Did I? Fuck… Did I fucking do it to you too? When I was a demon did I …?’   
  
He couldn’t bring himself to say the words, his mouth contorted into a thin line. His body shaking with tension and withheld emotion. He gathered the last of his courage, tears running down his face.

‘Fuck Rookie, is that what I did?’ His voice cracking and legs buckling under him, falling to his knees as he grabbed the table. Forcing himself to look up into your eyes as they blurred with tears and sobs racked from his throat. 'Did I - did I r-rape you?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm guessing its probably not what you were expecting? That you're thrown a bit off balance now? Love to hear your thoughts and theories on what's happened and where its going... :) 
> 
> * * * *  
> One more time - Diesel
> 
> [Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4R8SbmSf5lTkEaCxzMuzcY) //   
> [Music Video ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0F4l9TgPB0)
> 
> This work is unusual as am using one song for most of the chapters. And because this song is by an Australian artist from the 90s its probably not as well known to everyone, but it def worth a listen. It was one of those songs that a friend plays to you one night, years after it was released, and then you love it forever (well for me it was). Either way, it jumped out at me when I was writing this piece because the lyrics are so perfect that I've used it with each verse as a chapter. Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Also recommend another song of his [Tip of my tongue](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVdhZLgnOOs). 
> 
> * * *  
> 
> 
> To read from the beginning: [HUNTER IN TRAINING - The Rookie](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20053942/): Sam and Dean reluctantly agree to train you as a hunter, Dean calls you 'Rookie' and the two of you have an instant connection leading to all sorts of angst and smut.  
>  * * *  
> 
> 
> GIF: https://justjensenanddean.tumblr.com/post/157639133387/dean-winchester-12x13-family-feud


	2. Though we've reached the end of the line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So what really happened that night? And after?
> 
> ***Trigger warning - there is non-con so proceed with caution and take care of yourself if it's an issue. You can skip to notes at end for recap of what happens which will tell you levels/ how graphic/ help you decide what to read, and also how to safely skip it, but still get rest of chapter and an overview of what happened without details if that works better for you. x

**[ONE MORE TIME](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4R8SbmSf5lTkEaCxzMuzcY)** _  
  
 **  
I've often thought of love,**_ **  
  
_As something sent from above_  
  
 _Like a dream that's in my head,_  
  
 _I sit and think of what you said_  
  
  
 _Though we've reached the end of the line_  
  
 _I'd love to see you more time_  
  
  
DIESEL**

**Nearly two years earlier**

_You sat frozen. All of the months of dealing with the Mark of Cain, Abaddon, Crowley, everything you had done to save Dean, and none of it had helped. Just as Saltherna, the Deer Woman had predicted – he had become marked and was now lost to you. He was a demon. A knight of hell._

_You were heartbroken and more tired than you had ever been in your whole life. Everything hurt and you were struggling to eat, or sleep, or go more than a few hours without crying. But you were not giving up. Not on Dean. The two of you had said forever. He didn’t just get to fuck off and become a demon._

_A few days earlier you had told Sam you needed some time out, but you were both so distant from each other now, so caught up in your own ways of dealing with your grief and trying to find Dean that he’d barely noticed you leaving the bunker._

_Sam had been secretive about his methods and information, wanting to keep you safe and away from the demons he was chasing, so you had been using your own methods of tracking. Dartagnan was still getting irregular hits on Crowley, but they also seemed to be moving around a bit, and you weren't sure of the validity. Given Dean knew about Dartagnan, you had to assume that the demon version of him knew too, so you also had Dartagnan tracking and recording Sam’s calls – if he made any progress, you’d know about it. It was a shady thing to do, but desperate times and all that. There wasn't much you wouldn't do to get Dean back, and listening in on Sam's calls and some of what he was up to seemed to be the least shady thing either of you were doing right now._

_Finally you caught a break. You played the relay of the conversation Sam had with Crowley again, writing down and checking the details Crowley had given him about where Dean was. It fitted with the pattern and hits Dartagnan had been getting. Unless it was an elaborate trap, chances were good that you might actually be able to find Dean this time._ _You smiled grimly as you hung up, realizing you were several hours closer. You could get there first, try talking to Dean yourself, and if it didn’t work – then Sam was on his way, so you had back up._

_*_

_You arrived at the motel where Crowley and Dean were staying shortly after, deciding to get a room and grab a quick shower to pull yourself together mentally and physically before you tried to talk to him. You let the water run over you as you wondered what the fuck you were going to say, eventually turning the shower off with a sigh. You wrapped yourself in a towel, walking out of the bathroom to stand in front of your open suitcase, trying to decide what to wear when that familiar whiskey rumble made your heart stop._

_'I wouldn’t worry about clothes Rookie, just drop that towel and we’re all fucking good baby.’ He purred, making you jump and spin around._

_Your brain glitching as you turned to look at the naked man on the bed. The demon that used to be the man you loved. Who mostly just looked like the man you loved. Your heart aching at the sight of him. He looked good. Alive. And naked - just the way you liked him. Your mind immediately wanting to believe it was him. Wanting him and everything back the way it was._

_'Don't be shy sweetheart, have a seat.' He nodded at the bed, lazily raising his eyes to yours, dragging them up your body as if he could see right through the towel._

_You stood frozen, unable to think clearly. Caught between fight and flight, the effect of seeing him stronger than you were ready for, especially with the added distraction of him not wearing any godamn clothes._

_'Uh. You need to put some clothes on.' You warned. Trying to get some mental distance between you, so you could think straight. Remember this was a demon and not your Dean._

_'Now what..' He asked, leaping off the bed with unnatural grace, circling you. His breath on your neck causing you to shiver. '... would be the point in that baby girl?' He smirked and ran a finger down your arm._

_'See Rookie, I’ve been a good boy, staying away from you – even though it was very fucking tempting to take you and bring you with me. Now you just show up here and think you’re going to what? Sweet talk me out of being a demon? Or that we would just have a chat and I'd let your hot ass go without touching you?’  
  
He moved in closer, nuzzling your neck, his breath in your ear. _

_'Or do you want me to touch you?’ He murmured, smirking. ‘Is that really why you’re here Sweetheart? Miss me and my cock too much to stay away?' He mocked. His eyes devouring you as he shook his head and stroked his knuckles against the side of your cheek._

_‘Do you know how angry the old me would be at you right now? Putting yourself in harm's way baby girl? Or did little Sammy send you here as bait? Distract me till he shows up huh?’ He hummed, breathing heavily in your ear._ _'Surprised he didn't take his chance with me out the way. I practically begged him to fuck you as my dying wish. Thought he'd have been all over you with his sweet puppy dog eyes and that big ole rock hard cock that's been aching to do you and this perfect fucking pussy for a long time now. I bet sliding into your sweet ass and hot mouth that night only made him want your tight cunt more.’ He grinned._

_You looked up at him and looked away, itching to slap the smug shit-eating grin off his face._

_'Ouch - did you turn him down? Tell me you turned him down to come and love me back from demonhood baby, that would be frigging awesome.'_ _He chuckled, his laughter dark as his hand trailed up your thigh._

_‘Which must mean this is still the only cock you’ve had in this sweet pussy since you were re-virginized? Well well, that is fun.’ He smirked, using his other hand to grasp yours and place it around his rock hard erection. ‘Fucking love that.’_

_You scowled and pulled your hand away in disgust, your breathing coming in short gasps._

_'Hmm. You look a little tired and sad Princess.’ His face closing in on yours as he raised his hand higher under your towel, stroking your inner thigh and the edges of your pussy. ‘…but still hot as fuck and about a million times better than the skanks I’ve been banging with Crowley.’_

_You flinched at that. Hard. Feeling more of your heart crumbling as your face fell.  
It hadn’t occurred to you that he would be sleeping with other women. Fuck knows all sorts of other demonic bad shit had gone through your mind, but something that simple had not. You realized just how naive you had been, about how little of your Dean might actually be left. And how totally you had over-estimated your power to convince this demon to return the Dean you loved._

_‘Awww. You didn’t want me fucking other chicks? I’m sorry baby – but a demon has needs, and this Mark is needy as fuck… but then you remember all about that, don’t you? You were very, very good at helping feed those needs. Shit, look how needy I am just at the sight of you.’ He growled, forcing your eyes downward to where his cock was standing to full attention. You couldn't deny your pussy twitched a little, just as it had when he placed your hand on it earlier. But your stomach turned at where that cock had been, and what was in control of it now._

_‘Come on baby.’ He whispered in your ear. ‘This is going to happen either way, you might as well enjoy it. Because as fun as it’ll be to have you as my willing companion… I’m just as fucking cool to have you come along unwillingly.’ He withdrew his hand from under the towel, his thumb trailing over your lips, his finger trailing down your face and neck, resting briefly on your chest before pushing away your hand that had been clutching the towel and dropping it to the floor._

_‘Fuck, so beautiful Rookie.’ He muttered, sounding like the old Dean. He kissed your neck and palmed your breast as you stood completely still. Your mind in overwhelm, nausea and acid rising as you began to lightly tremble. The horror of once again experiencing sexual abuse, conflicting with the fact that your abuser was wearing the body of the man you loved._

_‘Dean please.’ You begged, finding your voice. Realizing it was the first time in several minutes you had actually spoken out loud._

_‘Oh yeah, baby – you’ll be saying that a lot. Just like you used to – I promise.’ He growled, picking you up and throwing you onto the bed. Holding your legs apart effortlessly as he made his way between them. Licking and snarling like a wild animal as he nibbled and sucked his way upward from your ankles. His eyes still green, but flashing unnaturally bright in the light of the dim motel room._

_‘Gonna make you feel good baby, just like I used to yeah?’ He said sweetly, looking up at you with adoration._

_You wondered if he was messing with you, trying to get you to believe it was your Dean, instead of a rank demon. You had to admit if he hadn’t talked about fucking those other women there would have been a part of you that could have pretended. Hoped that your Dean was still in there, but you knew he wasn’t. Because if he was, there’s no way he would have a) fucked those women and b) been so cruelly casual when he told you about it._

_‘Gonna feel so good baby. Fuck had forgotten how good you taste.’_ _He rumbled. Licking a broad stripe up your pussy before flicking and sucking your clit while groping your breasts, thumb and fingers expertly manipulating as always._ _But the hands and mouth that had always bought you so much pleasure now turned your stomach, making you want to scream, run. You felt the tears come and willed your body to stay calm and figure a way out._ _You would have struggled to fight Dean off at the best of times, but there was no point even trying if he was a Knight of Hell. All those years of being ‘good for Daddy’ with your stepfather flashed up. You felt sick once again and swallowed down bile as you lay still and unmoving._

_‘Awww Sweetheart, not having a good time?’ He asked, dragging a hand roughly from your breast slowly across your stomach, pausing just below it, palm flat above your pussy, holding you down as he stopped to look up at you, a strange look on his face. Did he really think you’d want to fuck him as a rank demon?_

_‘N-no... no, I’m not.' You shuddered. 'You’re not him and I don’t want this.’ You rasped, praying there was enough of something human left._

_‘Please - let me go. Come back with me, let us cure you. We have a cure.’ You pleaded._ _Holding your breath as he continued to stare at you unblinking and unmoving, almost as if he was conflicted and frozen in place. His ear cocked and frowning as if he was having a silent argument, listening to something or someone else, something either within him or outside of this room, something that you couldn’t hear._

_Finally he scowled, swearing to himself as he pulled back, his hand taking its time, trailing slowly across your pussy._

_‘It’s a fucking shame.’ He growled, his fingers dipping between your folds, crooking them inside you slowly, smirking as you held your breath. ‘But I’m going to do you a favor and forget about you for now Princess.’_

_Pulling his fingers out and licking them lasciviously, savoring your taste. Raising up from the bed in a blur of movement. Going from naked between your legs, to clothed and towering over you in dizzying microseconds, the abruptness of it making your head spin._

_‘However, if I was you I’d find a way to fucking disappear baby. To be gone...’_

_His face dark with threat at he walked the length of the bed, suddenly turning and laying himself alongside you, resting on his elbow as he cupped your face._

_‘To get away from Sam and anyone I know who might know where to find you. Because Princess, if I remember any time soon that you’re out there and alive… lineage or fucking not, next time I won’t stop and I will definitely not be so ‘nice’. I’ll just take what’s rightfully fucking mine. And you - are mine Sweetheart. You got that?’ He demanded harshly, taking your chin between his thumb and fingers, his eyes flashing black._

_You could barely nod, not daring to believe he would actually leave you unharmed._

_‘Don't you worry.' His face softening, then turning into a lascivious grin, his black eyes sending icicles down your spine, making your body shake with fear. 'I’ll find you when the time is right Rookie. And then you’ll be mine forever, you and me, just like we always promised baby girl.’ He growled, tapping your face gently, his lips brushing yours as you held your breath and closed your eyes. Cautiously opening them when you no longer felt the pressure of his fingers on your chin._

_Blinking, you scanned the motel room. He was gone._

_Within minutes, so were you._

_* * * *_

_Rushing back to the bunker from the airport in a rental car, your mind was racing with no thought except to get your stuff and go. Leave a note for Sam and get out until Dean was cured. You didn't even see the car, didn't feel it hit you. Waking in hospital in confusion._

_'Ms Nicks?' The doctor asked, shining a light in your eyes._

_'Who? What?' You mumbled._

_'You've been in a car accident, Ms Nicks. You've got a concussion, a lot of bad bruises and you're quite severely dehydrated, but everything else is fine, don't worry. We have some extra tests to run, but you should be okay in a day or so.' He reassured you. More words tumbling out his mouth that seemed wrong, that you couldn't make sense of. They must have you mixed up with someone else, and why did he keep calling you Ms Nicks?_

_You stared at him, taking a full minute to realize that he was using the alias name you had used to fly and rent the car. The id you were carrying when you got into the accident._

_'So is that all clear Stevie?' He asked, rubbing your arm reassuringly. 'Cute name by the way. Guess your parents were fans huh?'_

_'Yes, yeah. Sorry - I'm still a little fuzzy.' You replied._

_'No problem. Don't worry, I've left a note on the whiteboard just in case, our computer system is glitchy right now.' He smiled at you as your eyes came into focus. 'I'll be back in the morning to see how you're doing.'_

_Pausing at the door he turned back. 'Oh - we couldn't get hold of your next of kin yet. There was no answer from the man listed in your phone - Dean? Is that your husband? We left him a message that you're here. Unless you'd like us to call someone else?' He nodded to your phone that was sitting beside your bed._

_'Uh no. Umm - how long ago did you call?' You croaked, your mouth dry, your blood icy cold._

_'Not too long ago, maybe an hour or so I believe.' He nodded gently, letting the door close behind him. Oblivious to the terror quietly creeping through you._

_You lay there for a minute, your mind spinning as you absorbed the information the doctor had given you, your eyes straying to the whiteboard, and the words written in red marker as you heard your phone go off. You picked it up, it was a_ _text from Sam._

'I've got him. Driving back now - see you in a couple of days. x'

_You exhaled loudly. Thank fuck, it bought you a little time, but you couldn't be here when they got back. Not now, it wasn't safe. You couldn't risk the demon version of Dean getting free, you knew you wouldn't be so lucky next time, you had to run. Be long gone by the time they returned._

_On wobbly legs, you slipped out of bed. Only remembering to take the IV out of your arm when it pulled painfully against your skin._

_'Shit.' You muttered, looking for your things, your battered and bruised body protesting. Your mind already forming a plan._

_*_

_You headed back to the bunker to get the basics_ _you'd need for a few months - or maybe a lifetime. You left most of your clothes, just wanting pieces of him, pieces of your relationship, grabbing his favorite Led Zep tee and a couple more of his shirts you'd been sleeping in since he left, spraying his cologne on them to make the scent of him last longer._

 _You snapped pics on your phone of Dean's small treasure trove of photographs and collected all the mementos you could gather._ _The cards and random notes he'd written for you, small little gifts he'd brought, like the silver protection bracelet that had 'Forever' engraved in Enochian he'd given you for your birthday... the 'Thanks for all the orgasms' mug that still made you both smile and laugh every time you used it. Vinyl versions of your favorite albums... the hunting knife he'd had engraved with your initials..._

_You gathered them all, along with as much of your shared history that you could carry, something to hold onto, and get you through the dark days ahead. You looked at the framed photographs scattered around the room, happy to leave them and make do with digital copies because you knew how much he loved them, but you hesitated at the canvas above your bed. Dean had snapped a picture of the stars the night he took you on a picnic and the two of you danced in the dark together, having had it blown up and put on canvas for you. So you could always remember how it felt to dance under the stars like you did that night, when it seemed like they aligned, just for the two of you. You loved that picture so much, but if Sam was able to cure him, Dean might need it more... a reminder that you were destined, that it was written in the stars. That one day if you could, you'd be back. So you left it with a sad sigh._

_Finally, you went out to the garden and sat on the beautiful bench he'd made for you - so you had somewhere you could remember Suze, to sit and talk with her when you needed to. Tears silently tracking as you thought back to the day he and Sam had given it to you, the touching ceremony you'd had honoring her. None of you dreaming for a second that instead it would be the place you would come only weeks later, to grieve and say goodbye to Dean. You grabbed a lemon and lime from each tree above the bench, the smells soothing and comforting as tears poured down your face. You headed to the garage to find one of the cars, you'd swap it for another rental a few towns over and leave the keys for Sam to come get it when he could. Your sobs choking you and your vision blurring as you drove out of the bunker for the last time._

*

_You called Dartagnan from the rental car._

_'D - Umm. Things have taken a bit of a turn. I'm going to disappear for a while okay? And I need you not to track me, I have to be deep. No one - not you, the imaginary boyfriend, the brother or any of our friends and forces in between can know where I am. My life depends on it.'_

_'Jesus Razzy-P. You sure? You need an umbrella?' Using one of your codes to make sure you were ok. 'The demon wearing your imaginary boyfriend to Prom didn't get you did he?'_

_'No. No. I'm okay. It's not raining here.' You replied, using your code word for everything is fine. 'But I need you to erase a message from the hospital about me from his phone. And car rental records for my Stevie Nicks alias.' You huffed._

_'Hospital?' He queried._

_'Yeah, minor car accident. Light concussion. If you can erase hospital records too that would be awesome.' You paused. 'I'm sorry - I know I'm asking a lot, but it's important.'_

_'Nothing is too much for my Rapunzel. Especially to keep you safe - you know that.' He reassured you down the phone._

_'Thanks, I promise I'll be in touch in a few months when things blow over.' You sighed, not knowing if that were true._

_'You take care okay? Always here. No matter what Razzy-P.' He replied, his concern obvious down the phone._

_'I know D.' You smiled._

_'Good. Because I don't do feelings for many people Princess. Like - you're one of five. And one of them is my cat. So don't get dead, and call me when it's safe.'_

_'Will do. Love ya too.' You sighed._

_You drove through the night, stopping a couple of times to throw up and rest a little, the concussion still messing with you. Trying to keep your fluids up, your head clear. Having another accident would definitely not help you at all. You wished Charlie was here so you could run your plan past her, but she was still in Oz. You just had to trust this was right. That it was a good plan. A safe plan... Hopefully._

_You got out the car, your hands trembling as you grabbed your bags. Wondering what would happen, if they knew you were coming already, waiting in the chill of the early morning as purple streaks of dawn snuck their way through the sky._

_Your thoughts wandering back to your last moments with the demon version of Dean still running through your mind, the way he looked at you, listening to something, having an internal argument, wrestling with himself. The way he said 'lineage'. The fact that he let you go. He knew, you were sure of it. And you must have known too - on some level, even if you'd been too messed up to notice and join the dots on the nausea, the slight bloating and missing period. The words of the doctor initially washing over you because you thought he had the wrong person. All of it swimming into focus as you dressed quickly in your hospital room, your eyes inextricably drawn once again to the whiteboard note in red marker - 'patient is pregnant'._

_Eventually, she appeared. Her smile warm. Looking at you as though you were expected._

_'Please.' You whispered. 'I have nowhere else to go. I need your help.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****Trigger details:  
> \- there are descriptions of Demon Dean non con groping, touching, fingering, and licking/beginning oral sex. He does not actually rape, get violent or physically restrain Rookie. She does freeze up, fear and knowledge of his demon strength prevents her from actively fighting back, trying to persuade with words instead.***  
> Hope this helps you decide if you can read. If not, read till the gif of Demon Dean, then jump back in after the four stars and you won't have missed crucial plot points - they're summarised later. Take care of you. 😘
> 
> ****  
> IF YOU HAVE READ THE CHAPTER...
> 
> Soo prizes to those who guessed about the pregnancy... But what happened after that? 😊
> 
> ****  
> Song ref again:  
> One more time - Diesel  
> [Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4R8SbmSf5lTkEaCxzMuzcY)  
> [Music Video ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0F4l9TgPB0)


	3. I believe you'd be mine... If I could see you one more time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After not seeing each other for nearly two years, you're upset to discover that Dean has spent many nights torturing himself, thinking he raped you when he was a demon and that's why you stayed away so long. What he's about to find out is - that was not the reason at all...
> 
> **No triggers in this chapter**
> 
> ***  
> Oh my, one more post after this, and we're done. The feels and feelings are getting real...  
> 

**[ONE MORE TIME](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4R8SbmSf5lTkEaCxzMuzcY)  
  
  
 _I'd love to see you one more time  
  
One more time before you leave  
  
Maybe then you'd understand  
  
Just how much that I believe  
  
  
  
I believe that you'd be mine  
  
If I could see you one more time_ **

**_  
_** **DIESEL**

‘Fuck Rookie, is that what I did?’ His voice cracking and legs buckling under him, falling to his knees as he grabbed the war room table. Forcing himself to look up into your eyes as they blurred with tears and sobs racked from his throat. 'Did I - did I r-rape you?’

You watched, frozen in horror as Dean held onto to the table, his knuckles white. The panic and pain obviously physical as well as emotional. His breathing heavy, coming out in short rasps, his eyes never leaving yours, desperate for your response.

‘No. God, Dean No.’ You moved quickly across the space to take his hand. His body reacting as if given an electric shock, but he gripped your hand back tightly. Leaning into it as you cupped his cheek.   
  
‘Is that what you thought all this time? I’m so sorry, I assumed you’d remember. Shit. I thought you knew. No - you didn’t rape me… you nearly did, but you stopped. You let me go. I didn’t know why at the time – but even when you were a demon you still seemed to have some sort of feelings and attachment to me. And I think the tiny part of you that was still human, the part that loved me, fought to leverage that and let me go. Keep me safe. You didn't rape me, Dean.'

The tears came then, spilling over, bursting out of him. You pulled him into a hug, his arms wrapping tight around your waist, his head resting against you as you stroked his hair. Feeling the full-body release of tension that he had been holding onto for years surging in waves as he clung to you and sobbed. The thought that he had hurt and damaged you in such a reprehensible way had nearly broken him, worse than hell, or anything else you'd ever seen him talk about or express, your heart aching as he literally fell apart in your arms. 

You couldn't imagine what it had been like for him, the strength to keep going under that kind of weight. The idea that he had done the very thing that he had spent months helping you heal from, held you as you shook through bad dreams and night terrors because of ... Fuck - that he had killed your stepfather for, far too overwhelming and heartbreaking for him to bear. 

You let him get it all out, held him for minutes, hours, whatever time it took for him to release the pain he’d been torturing himself with for so long. Letting your own tears of loss, loneliness, fear and pain at missing him wash away at the same time.

*

Eventually you gently wiped his face and led him to a chair as the worst of the tears subsided, and he gathered himself together once again. He needed to be sitting down for this next part.

‘Dean that night…’ You sighed, sitting on a chair in front of him, holding his hand as you told him all of it. Watching him flinch, holding his breath, and then breathe once again as you told him how it ended.

‘Baby fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.’ He exhaled, shaking his head.

‘So, I had no idea at the time, but leaving me alone like that. It wasn’t just keeping me safe.’ You soothed. ‘It was keeping us safe, and I think he knew it. He stopped when his hand went over my lower abs and he talked about lineage, but it was like he was listening to something, having some sort of internal struggle - something that made him stop and reconsider. I think what made him stop was because somewhere in there, was still a piece of you. And as soon as that part realized, connected … you fought with everything, whatever tiny pieces of you that were left, to stop him, to protect me. To protect us.’ 

You pulled out your phone, pressing it into his hand, the screen lit up with a picture of you and his children, his son and his daughter. Their chubby little faces laughing and smiling for the camera.

‘Whaa…’ he blinked staring at the phone, then you, then the phone.

‘I’m so sorry I couldn’t come back sooner, tell you – have you meet them. But the Mark and Cain, the Darkness ... Charlie.’ Your breath tightening, being back in the bunker, filled with so many memories of her, you momentarily felt her loss all over again. 

‘I… I wasn’t sure it was completely safe for them till now. When I heard the hold, Amara - the Darkness had on you, how much she wanted you and how destructive she was – I thought it was safer I stayed away, in case she tried to harm me – or them.’   
  
Dean looked up, but you cut him off before he could ask. ‘And no Sam doesn’t know, I’ve been in touch recently, but he thinks it was just me wanting to come back, I didn’t want anyone here to know in case it put our babies in danger. The only person who knew was Charlie, she was there when they were born and came to visit a couple more times before… ’ 

You couldn’t finish the sentence, glad she at least got to meet them, that one of them was named after her. Your eyes glistening once again as you watched him try and take it in, nodding at the loss of Charlie, guilt twisting his features.

‘So I’m a – we’re? Whaaa…’ his breath coming in short gasps.

‘Yes, Dean. You’re a Dad. We’re parents. That’s Suzanne ‘Suzie’ Samantha Winchester named for her Aunt Suze and Uncle Sam, and that’s Charles ‘Charlie’ Dean Winchester named for Charlie and you. They are fourteen months old and a total handful, but fucking amazing and you’re going to love them more than you ever thought possible.’ You smiled, stroking your hand down his cheek. 

‘I can’t. ..’ He was still staring at the phone, scrolling through the millions of pictures you had of them, each one making his grin grow wider. Little did he know this was just the start, you'd recorded and documented every minute of your pregnancy, birth, and their lives to date so he wouldn't miss a thing. From teething to fevers, first smiles to first steps. It wouldn't be the same as if he was there, but he'd still be able to watch, see it all, know them from the beginning.

'Twins, Rookie? H-How?' He stuttered.

‘Well, the usual way Sir, my birth control failed and all the sexy time we spent ended up with double trouble. Maybe the Mark supercharged your sperm, between that and the biblical need to continue the godamn Winchester lineage, it's surprising it didn't happen sooner.' You replied, realizing you needed to tell him more on that later.

'But I like to think it was that day, the day before you ... before.' You shook your head, still not willing to say the words 'you died' out loud. The flashback of Metatron plunging the blade into his chest making you shudder. 'That day when our souls connected and we used the Mark to channel our love for each other. Remember I said it felt like touching heaven? Well, that’s what it feels like to be around them too.’ You sighed, smiling softly. ‘Either way, they happened and they are already mini You and Me’s.’ You grinned.

‘Are they here?’ He asked, looking around.

‘They’re back at the hotel in town.’ You said. ‘I wanted to tell you. Answer your questions, give us some time first. But they will be so excited to meet you. They know who you are. I’ve shown them lots of videos and pictures every day since they were born, so they'd know you - know your face. I even played them messages while they were in the womb, so they’d recognize that godamn sexy voice of yours. So they’d know their Dad. I held off their first birthday party, because - well you missed their birth, but I promised all of us that we'd have no more birthdays without you.’ You reassured him, watching his heart break a little. The smile returning as he looked back down at the phone. 

‘Fuck baby. And you went through this all by yourself.’ He muttered.  
  
You could see the guilt wash over him as he thought about the pregnancy, how you must have had to hide not knowing if he was still a demon and hunting you, give birth, raise them – all without him.

‘Hey don’t do that. Don’t ruin finding out about your children with self-loathing. Not yet anyway, you’ll have years to feel bad – I promise. Hell, if you want I’ll join in and help you. But right now can you just be here? Be happy? Come meet them?’ You asked, wanting desperately to kiss him, but unsure if that’s what he still wanted. If your relationship was going to be able to resume. If him calling you ‘baby’ was just habit. Fuck you loved hearing it though.

He looked up at you. ‘Okay, but answer me this – are you ok?’

You could see his brain scrambling. 

‘Like, if you’re seeing someone else? If you are, that’s uh - ok. I get it. You would have needed help and you’re so awesome and beautiful, I know men want you. So if you are, and you did… ’ He gulped and shrugged, trying to let you know he’d fit in wherever he could.

‘Dean fucking Winchester – did we not say forever? Do you really think I’d spend all this time growing and raising your children only to date someone else?’

He looked at you and gulped. ‘No. But… I – I ...’

‘Fuck you make things difficult.’ You exploded, your heart worrying a little. Sam had said there was no one, but what if he just didn’t know about them? ‘Are you in love with someone else? Is that it? Do you want Amara or the Darkness or some fucking diner waitress that showed up while I was out the picture?’   
  
Your heart stopped beating and you held your breath. After all this, after everything, what if it wasn't the Amara thing? What if he just didn't want you anymore? 

‘Fuck no Rookie. I want you. It's always you. Only you.' He sputtered, scrambling for your hand as you slowly allowed oxygen back into your lungs. 

'Godamnit baby. I know I’ve fucked up and I don’t deserve you, but it will forever be you. Even when Amara and the Mark were messing with me – you were still there. And she knew it. It was only because I thought you’d run away and would never come back that she didn’t try to find you.’

‘Oh, she did try to find me. But luckily I had some pretty fucking strong protection in another realm she didn’t know or think to look in.’ You smiled, watching his eyebrows raise and his face transform as he processed your words.

‘Saltherna, Arianne and the fairies?’ He asked, suddenly realizing the one place you would have all been safe. That she had no doubt honored the debt she owed you both, after you helped capture her evil younger sister in Tulsa all that time ago. ‘My kids have been raised in another realm, protected by Deer Women and fairies for the first year of their lives??’

‘Kind of fitting weirdness for our kids don’t you think?’ You grinned, thinking back to how scared you'd been the night you left the bunker... trying to articulate and give him the short version of all that had happened...

> _Your mind was spinning. You couldn't risk the demon version of Dean getting free and making good on his promise, potentially harming you or your baby. You'd only known about your pregnancy a couple of hours, but already you'd do anything and everything you could to protect your child, keep them safe. You had to run, and you had to be impossible to find.  
>  You thought again of Saltherna and of Arianne. Wasn't their purpose to protect women, especially pregnant women? They had been so grateful, and had offered their help and services all those months ago. Could you go to them? Ask for Saltherna's help to hide you? You didn't know the rules, but you were fairly certain that demons held no sway or access to the fairy realm. It was the perfect place to hide until Dean was cured and it was safe to go home. You gathered what you needed, driving through the night. Waiting in the chill _ _of the early morning as purple streaks of dawn snuck their way through the sky, easily finding the clearing once again._
> 
> _Eventually, she appeared. Her smile warm. Looking at you as though you were expected._
> 
> _'Please.' You whispered. 'I have nowhere else to go. I need your help.'_
> 
> _She inclined her head gently._
> 
> _'It is good to see you once again. We would be honored to shelter you and the life you carry.' She reassured you. Her energy softer than you remembered, guiding you through the portal as Arianne and other fairies appeared, carrying your bags._
> 
> _You had been shell-shocked and still recovering from the car accident for the first few days, fairy magic accelerating and helping you heal quickly. Once you were well again, you began to get your head around being in another realm and what it all meant. Charlie had tried to find various ways to describe it, and you had hung out with Arianne a few times over the last year, but actually being there, surrounded by her and her kind was overwhelming. There were so many things Arianne needed to explain on how to navigate this strange and beautiful land where nothing was quite what it seemed, and it all seemed like a dream._
> 
> _'Thank you so much for all the kindness Saltherna. For all of you going out of your way and giving me so much.' You said gratefully, meeting with her again for the first time since you arrived._
> 
> _'It is our pleasure. I trust your accommodation is suitable?' She inquired, her tone warm and welcoming, despite her formal way of speaking._
> 
> _'It's amazing. Stunning. I'm completely blown away.' You nodded. You had been given what looked like a small white palace to live in, with tiny turrets and imposing archways, but inside, they had decorated and charmed it for you, to make it seem as similar as possible to a modern house or apartment in your own reality._
> 
> _'I'm glad you're settling in. We wish to make it as 'human' for you as possible inside your home, so it is not too jarring for you and especially the children when you eventually return.'_
> 
> _'Children?' You asked, confused._
> 
> _'They did not tell you at the hospital?' She grinned. 'Oh my dear, you are to give birth to twin humans - a boy and a girl. They will continue the illustrious lineage of both your families. Their birth is important. It is not simply the Winchesters and the lineage of Cain. Your father was a descendant of Abel, one of the few. Abel's line was not as populous as Cains, and is therefore rare. It is why the two of you were destined. To heal and reconnect the separation of a great family, the original family, a rift that is thousands of years old. To bring healing via a new generation. Their birth heralds the beginning of a new time, the dawn of new understanding for humans.'_
> 
> _'Wait. What? My father?' You were speechless. You knew so little about him except that he had died when you were a baby. Your stepfather had never allowed anything of his in the house, and it seemed to upset your mother too much to talk about him. You stood there, your mouth silently opening and closing as you absorbed the information._
> 
> _'What do you mean important? Re-connection? Are my children in danger? Oh my god, I'm having twins? What the fuck?' You sat down quickly, suddenly feeling lightheaded. Tears filling your eyes as the thought occurred to you that, just as you never knew your father, it was possible your children could end up the same and never know Dean. Let alone what the rest of it meant._ _Saltherna knew how to deliver news that packs a punch, that's for sure._
> 
> _'I cannot tell you their legacy, their future. It is for them to unfold.' She looked at you with understanding, acknowledging your fear. 'Only that they will be well, but you will be here with us far longer than you wish to be. Dean is no longer the demon you met, but he still bears the Mark. It will make him more and more volatile, and soon Cain himself will begin hunting his descendants - Dean's children included. It will not be safe over there for you, or these babies who grow so beautifully in your womb.'_
> 
> _Her large eyes regarding you softly, a warm comforting energy surrounding you. You could feel it was coming from her, but you felt something rising within you to meet it. She sighed before continuing, making you stiffen and brace yourself for worse news to come._
> 
> _'However - it is the Darkness that is yet to be unleashed that will cause the greatest problems. As always, there is still possibility for Dean to make other choices, but much like you - when I warned you all those months ago, he will follow his heart and Amara, the sister of God will be freed for the first time in eons. She will have an unnatural attachment to him - and an immaturity that will not stand for him having attachment to anything or anyone else she deems a threat.'_
> 
> _'God's sister? Seriously? What the fuck?' Your mind was spinning._
> 
> _'I know it is a lot to take in. We have much time to discuss it in the coming weeks.' She soothed, the comforting energy surrounding you once more. 'I wish only to prepare you that it will be many months before you see Dean again or can safely return with your children to your own realm.'_

'And so I've been waiting.' You sighed, looking at Dean. 'After Saltherna told me it was safe, it took me a couple of days to get the courage together to text Sam, put feelers out and make sure everything really was okay. Dartagnan says 'hi' by the way, seems he's been keeping digital tabs on you all in my absence, waiting for me to pop up again. Quite the fanboy, says thanks for saving the world.' You gave him a small smile, looking down at where your hands met.

'Shit. I'm sorry you had to wait so long.' his face sad with self-recrimination.

'You know, time - time is different there, like Charlie said. I kept busy, trying to record every moment ... talk to you daily via videos, which was surprisingly reassuring, so sometimes it didn't feel that long at all, like you were there almost.' Not mentioning the lonely nights, the fears. Trying to ease his guilt.

'Fuck baby, every day felt like forever here without you.' He whispered, putting your hair behind your ear. 'I can't wait to see all the things I missed.' 

'Well there's some especially excellent new names and swear words that I came up with for you during their birth that you'll get to watch.' You chuckled.

'Hah. I'll bet.' He grinned, squeezing your hand. 'What uh, what exactly did she mean by their births being important, the lineage thing? Are they safe here?' He worried.

'She couldn't give me details but she said they will be fine. That their birth marks the beginning of a change in people that will bring a revolution, then evolution and kindness. A new renaissance of less hate and fear. And that they won't go through challenges in the same way you and Sam have. That yours were the hardest paths of all the lineages.'

'Jesus baby, your life hasn't exactly been a cakewalk. I don't think Sam and I can claim that prize alone.' He shook his head. 'But I like the sound of the future if it means our kids are okay... Fuck. We have kids... Shit.' 

He rubbed his face, unsure what to say. Looking down at the table trying to process everything. You waited a few minutes for him to get his head around it all, watching those gorgeous green eyes flicker, the strong jaw line begging to be stroked, large biceps taut and tempting as ever, your patience wearing thin as you stared at the full lips, the strong hands, the muscles of his forearms. Your breath coming quicker as you thought about the way those hands felt on your skin, his lips on yours...

‘So are you just going to sit there all day Winchester?’ Your voice husky with emotion. ‘How many godamn children of yours do I have to have in order to get a kiss round here?’ You rasped, the craving for his touch too strong to resist.

The need in your voice seemed to snap him back and he blinked, then chuckled, leaning forward, holding your face as his lips brushed yours.

‘How many do you want to have?’ He teased moving closer, kissing you properly, soft and slow. His tongue seeking entry into your mouth.

‘How about we start with meeting the two we’ve already got huh?’ You replied as his tongue moved deeper. His kisses even better than you remembered, the heat and electricity between you exploding like fireworks as he stood, bringing you with him, pressing your body to his as you looked into each other eyes, groaning into each other's mouths. 

You were instantly lost, swept away as everything that is Dean Winchester enveloped you once more. His hands stroking your ass as he held you tighter, ground against you, the growing bulge straining the denim of his jeans making you ache. Your panties already soaked and pussy dripping as he thumbed your nipple through your dress. Your hands roaming, touching and pulling at each other with increasing need. The noises Dean was making driving you crazy, dizzy with desire and lust. Each of you rapidly losing control as your bodies overtook you, the spark that had been there since the beginning, lit once again, burning like a fuse that was setting fire to your veins and erupting like hot lava in your core. 

‘Fuck baby, I really want to meet them, but I might have to take you on this table first... the things you do to me woman.’ He panted when you finally came up for air. 'I can't think straight. Need you so bad Rookie.' He husked into your collarbone. Licking and nibbling at the skin.

‘Don’t worry - it doesn’t make us bad parents, I have a feeling this will be quick.’ You giggled in reply, pulling at his shirt and tee shirt, ripping them over his head. Stopping to sigh at the sight of his chest, your hands moving over his arms and shoulders with hunger and delight. Unable to resist licking and nibbling at his skin, making him moan and drop expletives under his breath as you undid his jeans, pushing them down his legs as he kicked them off with his boots and captured your lips in another searing kiss. His fingers unzipping your dress and pushing it off your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. Pausing as he felt you suddenly freeze up.

'What - what is it, Rookie?' He asked, immediately pulling back. 'Hey, we don't have to, if you need more time. If you want to wait...' He stroked your face, pure love and concern reflected in his.

'God no - I want to. So bad Dean.' You gulped, shivering slightly under his fingertips. 'It's just I haven't since.. well since we did it the last time and uh - I've had two babies since then, things might be different.' You stammered slightly. 'You know _feel_ different. My body definitely looks different... my pussy might not be...'

You gestured a hand, your voice trailing off. Blushing slightly. Feeling embarrassed. 

'Okay, first of all - I love you.' He growled, pulling you close. 'All of you. Whatever and however your body has changed, and especially if it's changed from bringing our children into the world... I'll love it even more. Cause it's you, Rookie - it's you and me. And uh. It's been a long time for me too, so we'll just go easy on each other yeah?' He soothed, stroking and kissing your temple. 

'So you haven't... ' You weren't sure how to ask, or if you wanted to know.

He pulled back, holding your face between his hands. 

'There hasn't been anyone but you sweetheart ...except for the demon stuff, but I wasn't in charge of that.' He hung his head slightly, still embarrassed and sad, even if he had no control over it.

'So you and Amara never...' 

'No. God no sweetheart. Definitely not. She kissed me once and it was weird, because it was like I was in a trance and didn't have control over my body, but it never went further than that one kiss.' His eyes shining with sincerity, love and devotion reflected in their green depths. 

'Oh.' Your voice far shakier than you intended. The relief obvious as you exhaled deeply. Releasing breath you didn't know you'd been holding.

'Come on beautiful girl, let's do this right' He said, kissing you gently, taking your hand and leading you to his room.

*

'Okay.' He husked. Looking at you as if you were made of glass as he lay you down on the bed, stroking and kissing your skin. 'We go slow - traffic lights. You tell me if it feels weird or sore, or you know - good.' He smirked, kissing you, his kisses slow and languid. The two of you exploring each other's mouths, deep and gentle. Reconnecting, rediscovering. Your heart overflowing with love at the sweet smile he gave you when you paused for air, only to bring your lips crashing together again as the separation became too much.

His mouth slowly working it's way down your neck as his fingers undid your bra, sliding it down your arms and dropping it to the ground. Each movement deliberate, loving. His eyes looking up at you as he slid his tongue across your breast and encircled your nipple, the sensation and heat of his gaze making you gasp and throw your head back. Enjoying the feeling of him, his arms around you, his lips upon you. Any self-consciousness you might have felt, now long gone.

'Fuck. They're still perfect.' He sighed, moving to your other breast. 'Oh ladies, I can't tell you how much I've missed you.' He groaned, making you giggle. You got the impression he would think they were perfect no matter how they looked. Clearly oblivious to the stretch marks and changes, just happy to be near them again.

So beautiful Rookie.' He whispered. 'Missed you so godamn much. So fucking beautiful.'

His mouth still full of your breast as he slid a hand down your body, trailing across your stomach and down towards your panties, pulling them aside and sliding a finger deep inside you, causing you to gasp once again, his lips meeting yours to swallow the sound. His tongue probing your mouth as he added another finger to your pussy and began to curl them, pleasure rippling through you, your brain and central nervous system glitching.

'Still green baby? Does this feel good?' He asked sweetly, pulling back to watch your face.

'Yes, Dean. Fuck yes. Jesus, don't stop, please.' You panted, as you ground yourself against his hand. Hot sparks flying through your core as he slid down your body. His tongue landing on your clit making your hips buck upwards. His green eyes glinting as he crooked his fingers and moved them faster. 

Fuck, he looked so good between your legs you could cry. The heat of your orgasm rising as you moved with him, his tongue dancing over your folds, the waves quickly overtaking you, the sensation overwhelming, your back arching up for more. Aching for more. More of him, more of everything. Not quite daring to believe it was real. 

'You look so good, baby. Are you going to cum for me, sweetheart? Remind me how incredible you look when you cum Rookie?' He rasped, feeling your pussy twitching, the muscles clenching. Working you harder, his tongue relentless, flicking your clit insistently as his fingers filled you. Your hands reaching for him, tugging at his hair, hearing him moan in appreciation, reminding you how much he loved it when you pulled his hair while he was going down on you. You pulled it again, crying out and lost to all sense of anything but him.

'Shit. Dean. I - I...' Your voice strangled as white noise and ringing in your ears overwhelmed you, toes curling and legs shaking as you shuddered through your release.

'Wow. You have definitely not lost any of your skills Sir.' You panted, making him grin. Your eyes still locked on each other, his smile sweet and his face glistening as he eased his fingers out, licking them slowly, the enjoyment he got from bringing you pleasure obvious. 

'And you taste as sweet as ever baby. I don't know what you were worried about, this pussy is perfect, still gorgeous, and still my favorite meal.' He winked at you, waggling his eyebrows and kissing it gently. 'I'll be back for seconds later.'

You pulled him up towards you, watching as he couldn't help but lick and nibble at your skin on the way, desperate not to miss a single spot, own every inch of you once more.

'You're still pretty godamn hot yourself Sir.' You whispered, kissing him hard as you pushed his boxers down. His beautiful cock springing free and landing heavily on your thigh.

'Speaking of missing favorite meals..' You husked, grabbing him in your hand. 

'Oh baby, you can show me how much you missed that later. Right now I need to be inside this perfect pussy. Inside you. Closer to you.' His voice thick with that whiskey rumble of sex you loved as he kissed you softly. Arching as you gripped him tighter.

'Shit.' He groaned as you teased his gorgeous cock through your folds. Pushing it back and forth, driving you both crazy.

'You still green baby?' He asked, barely hanging on. 

You kissed him in reply, your mouth so full of his tongue you could barely breathe. 

'Yes Sir, God I need you inside me, Dean. Its been far too fucking long.' Gasping as you slid him downward, letting go as he pushed in. Your eyes locking and smiles wide. Lips parting and making o shapes in tandem as he slid deeper inside you. It had definitely been too long since you felt this good and he wasn't even all the way in. Your breath catching with every inch that he moved forward, each bit of contact making you shiver exquisitely. 

'Fuck. Yep. Still perfect.' He moaned, bottoming out and looking at you in awe. 'I'm going to need a minute.' 

You giggled, feeling sexy and desirable. The insecurities and months of feeling like your body's only purpose was to be a mother, swept away completely by this sex god of a man who loved and adored you. 

'Oh you think it's funny that you're so fricken hot I'm going to blow my load in the first thirty seconds like some godamn teenager do you?' He rumbled, his eyes twinkling. 

'Well it's good to know I've still got it.' You said, smiling innocently as you clenched and unclenched a couple of times, making him swear as the walls of your pussy moved around him.

'Fuck yes, you have definitely still got it.' He gasped, kissing you hard and beginning to move. Pulling out to the tip before thrusting back in again. Each thrust deeper and harder than the last, causing your body to shake and your mind to melt, your pelvis meeting and separating from his for mere seconds that seemed far too long. 

He rose up above you, smiling softly before sliding into you once more, his tongue filling your mouth as his cock filled you entirely. Your hands gripping his shoulder blades, lifting up to meet his thrusts and pulling him down over you. Hungry to have him, all of him, more of him, on top of you, inside you, enveloping you. Have more of the way he stretches you, just more. 

'Missed you, missed this so. damn. much.' You cried as he pushed deeper, pounded you harder. Each word punctuated by his hips meeting yours, his lips nuzzling your neck, his mouth close to your ear. The sounds of his moans and labored breaths making you crazy, taking you back to the edge as your body lit up, alive with pleasure and heat. Electrified, connected, full of his cock and tongue. Kissing deeply then watching each other again, the rhythm of your hips never faltering, meeting hungrily and with precision timing.

'So good baby. You feel amazing, better than I remember.' He growled. 'Fuck the noises you make for me sweetheart, I'm so fucking close already.' Both of you moving faster, your mind letting go as you looked into those gorgeous green eyes and forgot everything but him. Lost in need and sensation, only able to focus on the incredible feelings moving through you. You thought your brain might explode when Dean slid his hand forward and began to rub his thumb in circles over your clit. Your bodies instinctively meeting each other, chasing the goodness, the pleasure. Overwhelming you, taking you to a place where there was nothing else, your breath coming in short pants, the deep thrusts of his cock dragging against your g-spot. 

'I love. you. Dean.' You rasped, tipping over that edge, trying to keep your eyes open, stare into each other's souls as you came.

'Forever Rookie, fuck you're my everything baby.' He snarled as you felt a second orgasm explode, unable to keep your eyes open as it forced them shut with its intensity, little bursts of light pinging in the darkness as you did so, your pussy clenching and shuddering fiercely around him. His breath escaping in a hoarse gasp as he gave a final deep thrust, his body quivering above you with the strength of the release before he fell onto your chest, resting on his elbows to prevent from collapsing on you entirely. 

'Wow.' He grinned, raising back up on his forearms to look down at you. Both of you speechless, just breathing and smiling at each other. You raised your hands to his face and held it for minutes, seconds, hours. Time didn't matter anymore. You were back. He was yours. You were his. All the pain of the last few years blown away. 

He laughed in delight, rolling onto his back and pulling you to his chest, your hearts beating in unison. The bliss incredible, the familiarity overwhelming. Home. So happy to be in his bed, in your old bed. Your old room.

'So freaking good to have you back in my arms. Back in here. I tried so hard to let you go ... to move on...' He murmured.

'You didn't try that hard - all my stuff is still here.' You giggled, looking around. Just as Sam said, the photographs, your clothes in the wardrobe. Everything was exactly as you had left it

'Well, yeah. I mean in case you ever..' He chuckled, realizing the ridiculousness of pretending to move on in the outside world and then returning home to the bunker where time was frozen and everything was waiting, just as you left it. 

'I don't know - you make me crazy woman. I don't make sense without you.' He laughed.

Quiet creeping over the room as you lay together. Enjoying being in each other's arms once again. Humming as he smiled down at you. 

'You know every time I saw Charlie I'd freak out because I wanted to ask her, to know every detail about you, where you were, if you were happy - who the fuck was making you happy...' He said, stroking your arm.   
'I even got mad at her a couple of times - I was sure you were helping her find the Book of the Damned, but she assured me you weren't. That you were out of the game completely and living a civilian life doing regular things. Which made me feel relieved that you didn't have the Styne's on your gorgeous ass, but all the more worried that I must have done something so bad that you'd rejected everything you loved - me, us, hunting, this life...'

'Meanwhile, I was just growing, birthing, and raising two tiny humans in another realm.' You grinned.

'And I was being a douche and getting Charlie fucking killed.' He sighed, his voice cracking. You sat up and looked him in the eye, holding his face.

'Hey, I spoke to her earlier that day - she was determined to help you, no matter what it took. She was doing it for us. So we could all be together again. So you could meet your godamn children. She died doing something she believed in for people she loved, and I fucking hate it. I hate that she died, but its what we all signed up for, and even with two children to take into account, I don't expect everything to stop or completely change.'

You kissed the tip of his nose. You'd had a lot of time to think and consider things over the past few months.

'This is how we roll - how we all roll. Yes, there's danger in what we do, and I'm willing to take a step back, hunt less. Be the 'safe' stay at home parent, the boring bunker research and coordinator type of hunter, because our children deserve that. But we're never really safe if we don't keep doing what we do. The world won't be safe for our kids if someone isn't out there fighting monsters. And baby you're the best. So unless you want to stop, I don't expect you to give this up Dean. And Charlie, well she wouldn't want you or Sam to keep blaming yourselves. She'd want you to get up every day. Keep doing what you love, and kick it in the ass. So that's what we do - we'll work it out together, as a team. Team Free Will. Okay?' You grinned, giving him a soft kiss. 

'Fuck baby.' He growled, looking at you in awe. 'There's too much to think about and I can't make a decision on any of that right now, but you - you blow my freaking mind. You know that?' Kissing you harder.

'Yeah, yeah. I know, I'm awesome.' You smirked. 'Now, what do you say we get dressed and you meet your children. Huh?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo - surprise you have twins! And they are descended from Cain and Abel - their very presence heralding revolution, then evolution, healing and greater levels of kindness in humans. No pressure little ones. 🌻👣
> 
> Lol, I would have loved to use a couple of pics of Jensen with his twins around this age, but I think putting his real life and pics of his children in an explicit fic is crossing a line, so you can just go look at them on his insta and imagine its Dean instead 😁.
> 
> Next up.. Daddy Dean fluff. Yaaay!
> 
> ***  
> In case you hadn't read/can't remember Saltherna (the Deer Woman) - this is Chapter 5 from 'Tulsa': [Gold Dust Woman](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20563709/chapters/50087399#workskin) when they first meet her and she foretells the Mark and dark forces trying to separate them. 
> 
> ***  
> FYI  
> This is the timeline I worked to (canon dates based on info from Supernatural Wiki):  
>   
> 2014 Season 10:  
> \- End of June Rookie falls pregnant/Dean dies & becomes Demon  
> \- End of July Rookie goes into hiding  
> \- August 2nd/3rd Demon Dean is cured  
> \- Sept/Oct Charlie returns from Oz
> 
> 2015 Season 11:  
> \- March 22nd Twins are born (chose 22 as it is twin flame number / and said to be the number of God)  
> \- May Charlie is killed  
> \- June the Darkness unleashed
> 
> 2016 Season 12:  
> \- March 22nd - Twins turn one  
> \- April - Mary resurrected and then leaves because she 'needs space'  
> \- May - Rookie returns (used ‘nearly 2 years’ in text bc 22 months sounds clumsy).


	4. What's mine is yours, and yours is mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally gets to meet his children...
> 
> ***  
> Wow. Last post and final two chapters 😭. Thank you all for the kudos, bookmarks, shares and comments - they kept me going when I wasn't sure if anyone was still reading and helped this roller coaster ride stay on track. I wrote these chapters at the end of 2019 and been wanting to share for AGES ... hope you enjoy 💙  
> 

**[ONE MORE TIME](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4R8SbmSf5lTkEaCxzMuzcY) _  
  
  
I want to hold you in my arms  
  
And whisper sweet things in your ear  
  
Try and fill this empty space  
  
That I've been living in for years  
  
  
  
What's mine is yours, and yours is mine  
  
I'd love to see you one more time_  
  
  
DIESEL**

You opened the door to the hotel room, the sweet Arianne waiting for you. You and she had gotten each other through the sadness of Charlie's death, and she had been a rock and helpful nanny for you and the children. She and Saltherna were right there throughout your pregnancy and when you gave birth, talking and helping you through all the long nights since. You knew Charlie’s death had hit Arianne particularly hard, but helping you look after Suzie and baby Charlie had been a welcome distraction. Dean nodded a tentative hello to her, quickly sidetracked as he glanced across the room.

The twins were awake, and both looked in your direction as you walked in, smiles and giggles lighting up their faces as Dean turned to you in wonder and astonishment.

‘They’re really real.’ He breathed, looking stunned as you got onto the floor, ready to catch them as Suzie ran towards you on adorably unsteady legs, Charlie giggling and crawling slowly behind her.

‘Hi, my darlings.’ You smiled, your arms wide as Suzie toppled into them. You looked up at Dean and then glanced down at the rug, encouraging him to sit on the floor beside you. ‘Look who this is Suzie - it's your Dada.’ You said softly, your voice breaking with emotion. Slightly overwhelmed that he was actually here, meeting them at last. 

‘Dada?’ She repeated, looking at you for confirmation and then back at him with wide eyes. 

‘Hi, baby girl.’ He croaked, his eyes filling with tears as he crouched down, unable to stop his arms automatically reaching for her. She giggled as he swooped her up, his own emerald-colored eyes staring back at him as she tilted her head.

'Hey, Sweetheart. I'm your Dad. Look how beautiful you are.' Dean's voice low with awe at he stroked her cheek, drinking her in. His eyes never leaving her face as he sat down next to you.

Always the more suspicious and confident of the two, she stared back at him as she raised her little hands to feel his face, her own frowning in fierce concentration as she looked him over. No doubt trying to reconcile this 3D version with the pictures and videos she’d grown up with.

‘Dada!’ she pronounced, lightly slapping his face and giggling once again, causing all the breath to leave your body. Unaware how tensely you’d been anticipating them recognizing him, hoping they’d know him after all your efforts.   
Seconds later Charlie face planted into your lap, laughing. His crawling speed faster than his stopping ability. You picked him up and placed him in Dean’s other arm.

‘And this is your son Charlie.’ You whispered, watching the incredulity in his face as he looked between them, drinking them in. The sight of the three of them making your heart swell and tears fill your eyes, blurring your vision. You looked up to see Arianne softly leaving the room, tears in her eyes also as she gave you time together as a family.

‘Hi, guys. Hi Suzie, Hi Charlie. I’m your Dada.’ He said, his voice trembling as he kissed each of them and held them tightly to him. ‘I’m real sorry I haven’t been around, but I can promise you that won’t happen again okay? I’m never letting you or your Momma out of my sight ever again.’ He looked over at you, his face shining with love and overwhelm, loosening his grip as Suzie pushed against his shoulder. 

‘Dada – book.’ Said Suzie, pointing to a small pile of books in the corner. ‘ook!’ echoed Charlie, squirming and trying to head over to them. You laughed and headed towards the books, crawling to reach them and bring them back.

‘Geez Rookie, why have I never made you crawl for things before.’ Dean asked, watching you with a dazzled grin, brought back by his daughter’s sweet voice.

‘Dada.’ She demanded, her small palm smacking the books as you handed them to him, helping him arrange each child on the floor, inside the circle of his arms and legs. The naturalness with which he handled them making your heart sing.

‘Uh ok.’ He said, looking confused and tearing up once again when he realized it was a series of photo books, full of photos and stories about him. It was their favorite book series and now they were asking him to read it.

‘My Dad.’ He read, his voice husky and trembling. ‘My Dad is very brave. His name is Dean Winchester and he loves us very much.’ His voice catching, as he kissed each of them on the top of the head, looking at you with such love and emotion that you could hardly stand it.

‘Dada.’ Charlie agreed enthusiastically, smacking the page.

‘Uh. My Dad is kind and loving. He helps people. It's his job to save people so they are happy and safe. He is a …’ he stopped and looked at you, his eyes clouding. ‘He is.. a hero. And so is Uncle Sam. They help save the world.’ 

‘Yaaay.’ Shouted the twins simultaneously making you laugh.

‘We always do a yaaay at that part.’ You explained to him, making him chuckle. You watched as they made their way through the rest of the book, noticing how many times Dean felt like his heart was going to explode as he looked at them and read how much of him you had wanted to share and imprint for them. How clearly your love and admiration for him sang out of every page. You were pretty sure if Suzie and Charlie hadn’t distracted him with their smiles, demands and sweet shouts, he would have just curled up in a corner and cried from sheer overwhelm and too much happiness and love.

Luckily they weren’t about to allow that, not giving him a second to think about it once the book was finished, he had barely blinked before he was laying on the ground and they were crawling all over him. Giggling and sliding on him, pulling at his face, using him as a bouncy castle and laughing delightedly as he blew raspberries on their tummies and cheeks, lifting them in the air and curling them against him. They loved him already, and you were relieved as hell that they recognized and adored the fuck out of him immediately. You had been sure they would love and adore him, but this was even better than you’d hoped.

‘What do you think Momma?’ He asked, snapping you out of your reverie, wondering what he’d said and marveling at how quickly he’d slipped into calling you that.

‘About what?’ You asked. 

‘The kids and I are hungry.’ He grinned up at you, like he’d been saying it for years.

* *

Later that evening, once everyone had been fed, you had bathed and sang the twins a couple of goodnight songs before bed, Dean joining in and laughing that your choices were of course - old school rock tunes. You could tell he was surprised how poignant Sweet Child O Mine was when you sang it low and soft to your own children, watching how it hit him in the feels and he was starting to tear up all over again.

‘Jesus Rookie.’ He said, clutching his chest as you both snuck away from their room in the hotel suite and into the living area. ‘I think I’m going to have a heart attack from all the love. It's too fucking much.’ He grinned, his breathing short, and you could tell he was only half-joking. You pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back, resting your head on his chest.

‘You’ll be ok, you got two kids to look after now. Can’t be wimping out with a fucking heart attack after all we’ve been through.’ You teased.

‘Never. Not fucking leaving any of you ever, ever again.’ He mumbled into your hair, his arms gripping you tight.

‘Thank you.’ He sighed, pulling back to you look at you, his hand traveling down your cheek. ‘They are incredible, you are incredible. Fuck this has been… everything. From where I was when I got out of bed this morning to where I am now? I’ve pinched myself so many times today to make sure it’s not a fucking dream and I’m going to wake up alone in the bunker.’

‘Not a dream, not even dreamroot, or a demon or djinn. It's all real - I promise.’ You sighed back at him. ‘It feels so fucking good to be back in your arms Dean. I can’t tell you how many nights I fell asleep wishing for this, trying to remember this. Hoping and trusting that you’d come back to me somehow. Back to us. That you’d even get to find out there was an ‘us’.’ Your voice trembling a little as you looked down.

‘Hey, what? What is it?’ He asked, concerned.

‘I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner and that you spent all that time thinking you’d hurt me.’ You whispered, knowing you’d done what you thought was right, but still feeling guilty nonetheless.

‘Fuck baby. I’d live through that all again for just five minutes of today. If I had remembered that night, then I might have known you were pregnant and tried to find you. You did absolutely the right thing, it wasn’t safe before and you’ve done such a good job on your own despite everything. Like you said earlier, let's both of us stow the guilty crap and sadness, and just be happy. Cause fucking hell, this is about the happiest I’ve ever been in my life… well except maybe that night you first put pie in your pussy.’ He teased, watching your mood shift.

‘Are you seriously comparing that to meeting your children and seeing me again for the first time in years?’ You scowled, pretending to be annoyed.

‘Hey, it was an awesome pie and a pretty good night.’ He smirked kissing you hard.

‘Well, let's see if we can top it shall we?’ You said, leading him to your bedroom.

‘Oh yeah, baby. I’m all in on that.’ He grinned, suddenly picking you up and carrying you. Placing you on the end of the bed before pulling back a bit. His face soft as he stood staring at you.

'What?' You asked, curious as to what was going through his mind.

‘Just admiring how fucking breathtakingly perfect you are.' He rasped.

'Oh, well why don't you come over here and do that.' You smiled, crooking your finger at him. 'I look even better up close and personal.' 

'That you definitely do.' He smirked, rubbing his hand behind his neck. 'But there is, uh - one more thing.’ His face suddenly serious as he took your hand, kissing it as he got down on one knee, taking you by surprise. Nervously wiping the other hand on his jeans before taking both your hands in his.

‘This is unexpected as fuck so I don’t have a ring right now, or all the right things to say but Rookie,' He clutched his heart once again, steadying himself. ‘Jesus, you make my breath catch and my heart pound every time I look at you. You always have, from that first day when we pulled up and you were standing over that vamp, axe in hand, terrified but willing to go down fighting... part of me was like: ‘Dude – she’s the one for you.’ 

He chuckled at the look on your face, knowing he had never told you that before. 

‘You have rocked my world, changed my point of view, and helped me through so many things. You stood by me through the Mark, bad decisions and a ton of crap. You make me laugh, hope, strive to be a better man, a kinder person. I like myself when I’m with you. I see possibility and light, where before it was fucking death and dying. And now… now you’ve given me two incredible children.’ He shook his head in disbelief. 

‘I would do anything for you, fight for you, die for you, and most importantly live for you. You are more than I deserve or ever had any right to hope for. I want to spend the rest of my life making up for lost time, making you proud, making you happy and honoring all the amazing things you have done for me and earning the right to be yours.’ He gulped, a single tear tracking down his cheek.

So, I get that you might need some time. But whenever you’re ready - my beautiful, kind, brave, stunning, love of my life, best friend, mother of my children – wow, still getting used to that one.’ He grinned before quickly continuing. ‘ … most incredible woman I’ve ever known. I want to lock this down. Make that forever promise we’re always making - official.’ 

He gulped, wiping his hand across his mouth and lower jaw, his green eyes luminous and shining up at you.   
  
‘You don’t have to answer now, but would you agree to just think about it? Consider doing me the honor of adding the title of ‘wife’ to that fucking awesome list, and marrying me one day?’ His eyelashes damp with unshed tears as he kissed your hand once again and smiled at you.

‘Holy shit. You came up with all of that just now?’ You gasped, tears of your own slipping down your face as your brain processed his beautiful words.

‘Well, I’ve kinda been working on it and going over it in my head most of the afternoon and tonight, or maybe since the day we met… But yeah.’ He smiled, sheepishly, wiping at his eyes. ‘So – will ya?’

Your eyes locked on his, filled with so much love and happiness that simply stopped any and every other thought. You didn’t know how long you held each others gaze, your breath in sync, it took a moment before you realized you hadn’t responded.

‘Yes. Fuck yes. All of the yes.’ You said, pulling him up to kiss you, feeling the fire ignite through your body. 'I don't need time to think about it, Dean. Of course I'll marry you. Forever as fuck baby.' You smiled, kissing him harder. His mouth smooth and hot as your tongues entwined, his hands roaming and unzipping your dress, just as the baby monitor clicked and you heard Suzie crying.

‘Crap.’ You sighed, pulling back. ‘Welcome to parenthood Dean – I’ll be back in a minute Or, I might be in there with her the rest of the night.’ You rolled your eyes, moving to re-zip your dress.

‘You stay there baby. I’ll get her.’ He said, kissing you softly. ‘After all, I’m her Daddy and I’ve got a few nights to make up to both of them.’

He headed down the hall, making you smile stupidly as you heard him over the monitor, another tear tracking down your face.

‘Hi, my Princess. Look at you. Yeah, you’re so beautiful. Are you going to be a good girl for your Daddy? Go back to sleep, so your Mommy and I can make out and get naked? Celebrate the fact that she’s made me the happiest guy in the whole world. What do you say sweet girl?’

You heard her laughing and giggling, quietening as he began to sing to her. She was definitely going to be a Daddy’s girl, you could tell that already, both of you lulled and relaxed by his voice as he sang, unaware that you’d fallen asleep until you felt Dean’s soft kisses.

‘Hey, I wasn’t trying to sing you to sleep.’ He teased, his hands gently roaming once again. ‘Baby, we’ve got so much time to make up – I don’t think we’ll be sleeping for days.’ He rumbled, nuzzling into your neck, going straight to your sweet spot, hitting all your buttons as if you’d only been apart a few weeks instead of years.

‘I’m okay with that.’ You groaned.

‘Better be. Cause you’re stuck with me now.’ He said, hooking a finger into your panties and pulling them down your legs. ‘I know I said no pressure, and obviously, you can keep your name if you prefer, but fuck baby - even if it's just in private – all I can think about is calling you Mrs Winchester.’ Noticing your reaction, he grinned, making his way between your legs. ‘Like that baby? Wanna be Mrs Dean Winchester huh?’

'I could get used to that.' You smirked as he moved back up to kiss you deeply, his tongue warm in your mouth, your back arching up to make contact, press every part of you to him.

'Yeah?' He murmured, sliding a finger inside you.

'Yeah. Ah. Fuck yes, definitely.' 

His kisses soft and sensual as he made his way down your body, savoring each spot, nibbling and sucking your skin, re-committing it to memory, sighing with happiness as he went, reveling in you.

'Fuck I can't believe I'm actually back here, with you and this incredible, amazing skin. I have spent so many nights thinking about your skin, how you smell, taste... and none of the memories did you justice.' He murmured, pausing to suck on your nipple, flick it with his tongue. 'Hey girls. Man have I missed the two of you, thought about you ladies a lot.' He whispered appreciatively to your breasts, making you giggle.

'You did tell them that earlier.' You grinned, arching as his tongue flicked harder.

'I know. I might tell them again tomorrow too.' He rumbled, smiling down at your chest with a kind of reverence that made your heart sing and want to laugh out loud at the same time.

'So, when do you want to tell everyone else? I'm okay with whatever your plan is?' He mumbled, kissing your stomach.

'About the kids or about us getting married?' You teased, enjoying the heat slowly building in your core from his lips and finger.

'Both, either? Mom and I aren't doing so great at the moment, she's taking some 'me' time because she's not dealing so well with being back - but I still want her to meet her grandkids and come to my wedding.' His words smothered into your skin. 'Might even help a bit because she said she's missing Sammy and me as kids.'

'Mom? What? Huh?' You spluttered, sitting up and pulling away to look at him in shock.

'Sam didn't tell you? Yeah - Mom's back. Amara made it happen - calling it the one thing I needed. She obviously didn't know that my only thought when she said that... was you. You being okay and unharmed. God, marrying you, being parents... my brain couldn't have even comprehended this kind of happiness before today.' He smiled, kissing your nose. 'Awww man - and I can't wait till they meet Sam and Cass. Uncle Sammy and Uncle Cass, that has a great ring to it.' He said, pulling you close once again and grinning at you with such happiness your heart nearly burst.

'Yeah, it does Daddy. It sounds great.' You whispered.

'Ooh Daddy huh?' He smirked, sliding his finger back inside you. 'Now _that_ sounds good when you say it. Say it again.' 

'Daddy?' Your voice low and husky.

'Oh yeah, baby. This is going to be fun.' His lips finding yours, his kisses sweeping you away and into forever.  


**I know for sure that you'd be mine** **  
If I could see you one more time**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww. How much do we love Daddy Dean?  
> Eeek. And so we are nearly done... just one more little chapter that I couldn't help but add. We get a little dismissive of canon going forward, but I hope it gives some hopeful happy vibes for the future, especially if the final episodes of the show do not... 💙💙💙
> 
> Also - how good were the lyrics of this song for these last four chapters? If you've not listened to it yet - do it now: One more time - Diesel  
> [Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4R8SbmSf5lTkEaCxzMuzcY)  
> [Music Video ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0F4l9TgPB0)
> 
> ***
> 
> GIF 1: http://deansdirtylittlesecretsblog.tumblr.com/image/155845732902


	5. Carry on ... The Legacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, what a ride this has been. I’m not saying it’s the absolute end (because I'm too attached and I can't), but it’s definitely probably most likely the end. 
> 
> To all my readers and especially those who have dropped kudos, bookmarked, shared, commented and offered ideas, THANK YOU all for your support and love throughout the series, you have my heart. This final chapter and song is for you. 💋

**[CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4R8SbmSf5lTkEaCxzMuzcY)  
  
  
_On a stormy sea of moving emotion  
  
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean  
  
I set a course for winds of fortune, _ **

**_  
but I hear the voices say_ **

**_Carry on my wayward son…_ **

**  
KANSAS**

‘You are not becoming a hunter.’ Dean thundered, his voice reverberating through the house you'd had built when the twins were young. It sat above ground, but was just as heavily charmed and warded as the bunker. Better yet it had a pool and was in the warm climbs of Florida. An area that had enough weird to keep hunting more than a hobby, but not so much as to be a full-time job. 

‘You trained Mom, you still call her your ‘Rookie’. Why can’t you and Uncle Sam train me?’ She challenged.

‘That’s different.’ He growled.

‘And what about Bobby? He’s only 15 and Uncle Sam’s already letting him do research and basic training.’ She snapped back at him. The temper she inherited from her father on full display.

‘Well, that’s because Bobby is… ‘

You shot him a warning look, you didn't think he would, but he better not be about to say ‘a boy’. She'd eat him alive. 

‘…Sam’s son and I don’t have any say in that.’ Dean yelled, raising his eyebrows at you to ask if he did ok, reassured by your small nod.

'Uncle Cass says that Winchesters are destined by lineage to protect and help those who need it. To save the world.' She snapped. 

'Really? Well, I'm gonna kick Uncle Cass's ass.' He snarled.

‘Dad, I’m a god damn legacy. Daughter and niece to two of the most famous hunters to ever exist – did you really think I was going to grow up and want to fucking crochet?’ She yelled back.

‘I thought you might go to college like your brother, and don’t use language like that.’ He shouted.

‘I’ve never been smart like Charlie – you know that. He loves it, but college is his dream, not mine.’ She countered.

‘Suzie, you’re such a smart kid. I don’t know why you think that you’re not.’ He replied, his voice softer.

‘It’s Suze! Suzie is a gawky 12-year-old with no boobs. God Dad – I’m nearly 20. When the hell are you going to realize I’ve grown up?’ She stormed, stomping across the foyer and slamming the front door. Followed shortly after by the sound of the impala gunning and then squealing down the drive. It had been her graduation present, given after years of pleading and promises that she would maintain and take good care of it. She had been ecstatic.

He looked over at you, pain and confusion written all over his face. It was physically killing him to watch her become an adult, her choices, attitude and stubbornness so very like him that he didn’t know what to do. Plus, he really missed his sweet little girl. Who adored him. Listened to his every word. Who looked at him like he hung the moon and stars.

‘Awww, Babe.’ You said, coming in to hug him. ‘I’m afraid she has a point.’

‘No. Don’t you do that. Don’t you take her side – not on this.’ He pleaded. ‘She’s our baby girl. You can’t fucking mean to tell me you’re ok with her hunting? And what happened to this fucking new dawn of kindness the twins were supposed to bring? Shouldn't all the monsters be gone by now? And shouldn't she be kind enough to listen to her old man?’

You had decided against telling the twins the full story of their apparent legacy, not wanting to put pressure on them, especially when you still had no idea what it all meant. Cass had theorized that it was an energetic shift, that their mere existence helped people, started the revolution of change and move toward kindness, but none of you had a clue really. There was hardly any lore, psychics and the fairies had already told you what they knew, and anyone else who might have been able to tell you more was either gone or lost to the myriad of realities and universes that you were unable to reach. After a rough couple of years when they were small, going head to head with Michael and Chuck himself, things had been continuously quietening down on the monster front, but the human revolution and uprising had dragged on. Humans apparently slow to shed old ideas and behaviors, the evolution into greater kindness was happening, but it wasn't happening quickly. 

‘What I know…’ You said, kissing his temple and stroking his back. ‘Is that because she’s our daughter – and we’re both stubborn as fuck - and because I’ve known her, her whole life… if we don’t support her on this, we will lose her. She will run, and she will do it anyway. So, what I’ve resigned myself to, the best case scenario I can think of is that if she is going to hunt – it’s her Daddy or Uncle Sam that are with her. I’m way too rusty now, but there’s no one else I’d trust.’ You pulled back, kissing his lips gently. ‘Remember when I wanted to be a hunter and wouldn’t take no for an answer?’ You teased. ‘You weren’t happy about that either.’

‘Fuck babe. This is so much worse. This feels like someone wants to rip my heart out, give it little legs and send it out into the world armed only with a pop gun and a toothpick.’ He whimpered.

‘You better train her up well then, hadn’t you?’ Laughing at all the memory of all the training maneuvers he put you through. ‘Do you actually know how to train someone without all the sick pervy moves you put on me?’ You teased.

‘Yeah, they were fun weren’t they?’ He chuckled. ‘And as I recall Rookie, I wasn’t the only one pulling pervy moves – there was that challenge where you gave me the most spectacular blow job of my life to distract me…’ He smirked, kissing your lips. ‘And then that time when you came at me with the pie in your pussy. Fuck woman, you know that’s why I married you right?’ He began nuzzling your neck.

‘Really? Because I put pie in my pussy? You’re so easy Dean Winchester.’ He nodded happily in agreement, working his way to your pulse point.

‘I suppose I should be grateful that I haven’t had to deal with a proper boyfriend yet – Mike’s definitely gay right?’ He grumbled, suddenly stopping to look at you.

‘I’m pretty sure Mike likes boys.’ You soothed, not mentioning you knew her ‘bestie’ Mike liked girls too, and you were fairly sure he and Suze had hooked up when he took her to prom. In fact, you were fairly sure Suze took after her father when he was younger and had already had more than one or two casual relationships, hookups, and flings. But you definitely weren’t mentioning that. Dean could only stand so many heart attacks when it came to his baby girl.

‘Come on Sir.’ You kissed his temple. ‘Let me make you feel a little better before you have to call and tell her that you’ve changed your mind and decided to train her after all.’ Winking as you pulled your panties down under your dress and put them in his hand. ‘I’m pretty sure there’s some leftover pie and whipped cream somewhere that we can put to good use.’ You grinned, turning and heading towards the kitchen.

‘It might have got me to marry you, but you can’t just think that’s going to work on me EVERY time.’ He grumbled.

‘Oh, so you’re not interested?’ You asked innocently, smiling and giving him a come hither look over your shoulder.

‘Well hell, – I didn’t say it wasn’t working _this_ time, now did I?’ He muttered, rolling his eyes and pushing all other thoughts aside, grinning at your panties in his hand and watching your hips sway as he followed you down the hall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE Nov 2020 - Ok so it's not the end. I've had some Daddy Dean Drabbles and snippets kicking around and we could all use some cheering up so I've started new G rated series called that, but also added them to this series as well. Hope you enjoy. x
> 
> ***  
> Thanks to Cleo4Short for the song rec... it took a bit to find the perfect spot for it because its so integral, but hopefully you like its use here.  
> Thank you all so much for coming on this epic ride. What did you think? Yaaay for the fluff and happy ending? No matter how the show eventually ends - this is how I like to think of them. Everyone's alive, happy and safe af. Wishing the same for you all.💙


End file.
